Month: March 2024

Damsel

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Rating: Empty

Genre: Fantasy,

Studios: Netflix

Cast: Millie Bobby Brown, Ray Winstone, Brooke Carter, Nick Robinson, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Angela Bassett and Robin Wright

Director: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo

Writer: Dan Mazeau

Producers: Chris Castaldi, Jeff Kirschenbaum and Joe Roth

Music by: David Fleming

Rated: PG-13 for sequences of strong creature violence, action and bloody images

Release Date: 03/08/24

Runtime: 1h 50m

Tagline: This is not a Fairytale

Favorite Character: Elodie

Quote: “This is the end of your story.”- Elodie

Fun Fact: N/A

The Review: Once upon a time, there was a Fast X screenwriter in Los Angeles who decide to try pull off a unique take on the classic stories like Cinderella, Jack and the Beanstalk, Princess and the Pea, etc. He wanted the script to have both Fairy Tales and Game of Thrones vibes. Eventually, he did succeeded in putting it on Netflix, but what he failed at is trying to make us appreciate old tale like 2007’s Enchanted and the Shrek franchise did.

The story begins with two girls Elodie (Eleven aka Millie Bobby Brown) and Floria (Brooke Carter) living in a village suffering with hunger and their father (Ray Winstone) and Stepmother (Angela Bassett) waiting for a miracle. If a miracle means arranged marriage to the prince of Aurea (Nick Robinson), then that is exactly what they got. Arriving there, we meet the queen of Aurea (Robin Wright) and the Prince being the one to marry Elodie. Before the wedding, things are going as expectedly well with an exception of the stepmother having a feeling that something is about to go wrong.

Then the wedding begins and it looks like Elodie is gonna get her happily ever after after all…but, as we guess, that didn’t happen. Instead the Prince does the unthinkable by throwing his new wife in the pit of the black, badly designed dragon (with a well done voice acting courtesy of Shohreh Aghdashloo) whose CGI tail was whipping too fast. This all turned out to be a royal sacrifice to keep the kingdom at peace. It wasn’t until later (but not too soon either) that Millie Bobby Brown went from being a princess to being Eleven in the different era.

The main point of Damsel was supposed to be that princesses can be warriors like Princess Merida from 2012’s Pixar film Brave. Sadly, Elodie’s characteristics has more Damsel in distress than the latter. Now with every evil there is good. What do i mean? I was talking about some of the redeeming qualities. The blue lightning in the cave not only saves the princess but the movie too. The best CGI in the movie has to go to the pretty looking glowing slugs that has a magic to heal wounds. And the climax wasn’t really too lousy since it went exactly the way I was gonna do if I am in that situation.

Hollywood has so many ways to twist fairy tales, but this one was made into a story that was slow, flat and has a lack of storytelling, like it was rejected by the publisher in the kingdom long, long ago.

Kung Fu Panda 4

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Rating: Full

Genre: Animation, Comedy, Material Arts, Action, Adventure

Studios: Universal Pictures/Dreamworks Animation

Cast: Jack Black, Awkwafina, Bryan Cranston, James Hong, Ian McShane, Ke Huy Quan, Dustin Hoffman and Viola Davis

Director: Mike Mitchell

Writers: Jonathan Aibel, Glenn Berger and Darren Lamke

Producer: Rebecca Huntley

Music by: Steve Mazzaro

Rated: PG for material arts action/mild violence, scary images and some mild rude humor

Release Date: 03/08/24

Runtime: 1h 34m

Tagline: N/A

Favorite Character: Zhen

Quote: “Now, who wants to do the right thing for the wrong reasons?”- Zhen

Fun Fact: Looking at the info, it seems Kung Fu Panda 4 ignored all events from the two TV series.

The Review: Movie Franchises are a big deal, but by the fourth film, the franchise runs out of gas. You may think that Kung Fu Panda 4 gonna be part of the getting-sick-of-the-franchise movie but really, it actually doesn’t lose it all quite yet.

I have only seen the first Kung Fu Panda film. So i won’t really say anything about the 2nd and 3rd films, besides the fact that Po (Jack Black) now has a neon green Ying Yang staff. We all knew Po is Dragon Warrior, for right now. He is loving every minute of it. Kicking butt, Fame (but mostly kicking butt). Now that we reached the fourth entree, It won’t be long before Po has to retire from being a Dragon Warrior and must choose who take his place when the panda becomes a spiritual leader of the Valley of Peace. Like other heroes in animated movies, the flabby panda clearly wasn’t ready for it!

And in every Kung Fu Panda film, we had to have a new villain to root against. This one has the shape shifting sorceress Chameleon who is called…the Chameleon (Viola Davis). She is probably the most anticipated KFP villian since she can shapeshift into Po’s other enemies. Sadly, unlike Tai Lung, the Chameleon didn’t come out much. We do, however have more new characters with crime lord Sunda pangolin (Kue Huy Quan), a fish living in a pelican (Ronny Chieng) and my new favorite Dreamworks sidekick, a sly fox thief Zhen (Awkwafina). Zhen led Po throughout the journey to the Juniper city stopping at the restaurant called ‘Happy Bunnies’ that has bunnies in forced labor, representing child labor in China (poor little guys).

But for some very unknown reasons, the comeback characters has left a huge disappointment in the fans. Furious Five was hardly in it (they did confirm their whereabouts in the beginning) with only Seth Rogen’s Mantis do make any noise in the film. And despite Lord Shen and General Kai appearances, the producers didn’t even bother to call Gary Oldman and J. K. Simmons. Fortunally, Zhen totally makes up for it! We did get Po’s adoptive and biological dads (James Hong and Bryan Cranston) storyline that we expected and wanted, coming together to find their son, looking like they had a rivalry in the 3rd film (I don’t know if they do, as I said, I haven’t seen the 3rd one yet).

Even if the film is over, Po’s story isn’t over yet! and while it seems this animated franchise is at its weak point, it still have some of the awesomeness! Here’s a tip. Stay during the end credits to listen to Jack Black’s kickass cover of Britney Spears ‘…Baby One More Time.’

Ricky Stanicky

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Rating: Half-Full

Genre: Comedy

Studios: Metro-Goldwyn Mayer/Footloose Productions/Rocket Science

Cast: Zac Efron, Jermaine Fowler, Andrew Santino, Lex Scott Davis, Anja Savcic, Jeff Ross, William H. Macy and John Cena

Director: Peter Farrelly

Writers: Jeff Bushell, Mike Cerrone, Jason Decker, Peter Farrelly, Brian Jarvis, Pete Jones, James Lee Freeman and David Occhino

Producers: Paul Currie, Michael De Luca, John Jacobs and Thorsten Schumacher

Music by: Dave Palmer

Rated: R for sexual material, language throughout and some drug content

Release Date: 03/07/24

Runtime: 1h 53m

Tagline: He’s the best friend they never had.

Favorite Character: Rod Rimestead/Ricky Stanicky

Quote: “Stanicky’s like one of those trick birthday candles, no matter how hard I try to blow him out, he just keeps coming back.”- Dean

Fun Fact: The movie was first announced in 2010 so the movie took fourteen years to make.

The Review: Growing up, you might did something bad and blame it on your sibling or friend or someone you made up. In Ricky Stanicky, that’s what these three childhood best friends (Zac Efron, Jermaine Fowler and Andrew Santino) did. 25 years ago on Halloween, these three committed a prank that went horribly wrong. Rather than telling the truth, they invented an imaginary best friend named, who else? Ricky Stanicky.

But that doesn’t stop there! Throughout the animated opening sequences, they took advantage of it and do mischievous things and also lying to their families using non existent Ricky to pin a blame on. We jumped to present day, they are still using the name to lie their partners to go anywhere they want. this time, saying that Ricky has cancer to get out of the baby shower of JT’s wife and going to Marc Rebillet concert in Atlantic City. But that caused JT to miss his son’s birth. Worse for them, their partners are starting to get suspicious. Wes of course had to almost spill the beans.

Well let’s face it, had these guys not been to Atlantic City, they would have not have met the best star of the film , John Cena (cue his theme song) Cena plays Rod Rimestead, struggling at life and does a X Rated version of Weird Al songs for a living. But he also is an actor who also nailed the Owen Wilson impression, he does impressions and he wasted it at a Atlantic City show. But anyway the three guys hired him to play Ricky Stanicky just for JT’s son’s bris to prove to their partners he is real, although, Dean’s mother in law wasn’t all that convinced.

It works for the guys, maybe a little too well. Because Rod is really starting to turn into the real Ricky Stanicky and all it takes to make him a real deal is for him to perform a circumsice. The fact that these guys got away with their lies for 25 years is hard to believe I mean if someone did, it would be impressive, but let’s not forget that this is just a movie so anything is possible. As for the plot itself, when I saw the premise for the movie, I somewhat knew it was going to suffer with a formulaic story.

If you are a single person with a drug problem and wants to get a good lesson about redemption, go to Amazon Prime. If you want to be entertained by John Cena go to Amazon Prime. If you want some laughs, I suggest you go somewhere else.

My 96th Oscars Predictions:

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It’s that time of year for Hollywood. The 96th Oscars! We are offically 4 years away from the big 100th! Till then, here are my Oscar predictions for 2024.

Best Picture: Oppenheimer (Christopher Nolan, Charles Roven and Emma Thomas)

Best Director: Christopher Nolan (Oppenheimer)

Best Actor: Cillian Murphy (Oppenheimer)

Best Actress: Lily Gladstone (Killers of the Flower Moon)

Best Supporting Actor: Robert Downey Jr (Oppenheimer)

Best Supporting Actress: Da’Vine Joy Randolph (The Holdovers)

Best Original Screenplay: The Holdovers (David Hemingson)

Best Adapted Screenplay: American Fiction (Cord Jefferson; Based on the novel Erasure by Percival Everett)

Best Animated Feature: Spider-Man; Across the Spider-Verse (Phil Lord, Christopher Miller, Amy Pascal, Kemp Powers and Justin K. Thompson)

Best International Feature Film: The Zone of Interest; UK (Johnathan Glazer)

Best Documentary Feature: Four Daughters (Kaouther Ben Hania and Nadim Cheikhrouha)

Best Documentary Short Film: The Last Repair Shop (Kris Bowers and Ben Proudfoot)

Best Live Action Short Film: The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar: Wes Anderson and Steven Rales

Best Animated Short Film: War is Over! Inspired by the Music of John and Yoko (Brad Booker and Dave Mullins

Best Original Score: Oppenheimer (Ludwig Goransson)

Best Original Song: What was I Made For?; Barbie (Billie Eilish and Finneas O’Connell)

Best Sound: Oppenheimer (Willie Burton, Richard King, Kevin O’Connell and Gary A. Rizzo)

Best Production Design: Barbie (Sarah Greenwood and Katie Spencer)

Best Cinematography: Oppenheimer (Hoyte van Hoytema)

Best Makeup and Hairstyling: Poor Things (Mark Coulier, Nadia Stacey and Josh Weston)

Best Costume Design: Poor Things (Holly Waddington)

Best Film Editing: Oppenheimer (Jennifer Lame)

Best Visual Effects: The Creator (Ian Comley, Jay Cooper, Neil Corbould and Andrew Roberts)

So if all my predictions are correct;

Oppenheimer: 8 Oscars

Barbie: 2 Oscars

The Holdovers: 2 Oscars

Poor Things: 2 Oscars

Spaceman

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Rating: Half-Full

Genre: Sci-Fi, Drama

Studios: Netflix

Cast: Adam Sandler, Carey Mulligan, Kunal Nayyar, Lena Olin, Isebella Rossellini, and Paul Dano

Director: Johan Renck

Writer: Colby Day

Based on: the novel Spaceman of Bohemia by Jaroslav Kalfar

Producers: Lia Buman, Reid Carolin, Timothy Headington, Peter Kiernan, Michael Parets, Max Silva and Channing Tatum

Music by: Max Richter

Rated: R for language

Release Date: 02/23/24

Runtime: 1h 47m

Tagline: N/A

Favorite Character: Hanus

Quote: “you may have boundaries, Skinny Human, Perhaps they are the cause of your loneliness.”- Hanus

Fun Fact: During filming, Carey Mulligan was really 8 months pregnant.

The Review: Adam Sandler has played different roles in 51 movies. That includes a dad, a golfer, a gambler, a vampire even a old class pet. Now let me tell you, this is like one of the few times Adam Sandler steps out of the Comedy and into the more dramatic genre. But instead of being a gambler, he is a lonesome astronaut who encounters bizarre moments along the way.

Sandler plays a Czech cosmonaut Jakub Prochazka who was in space for 6 months so far, determined to explore purple space dust before the South Korean astronauts. It lays besides Jupiter that is a spectacle when you see it from earth. Jakub was being troubled by his time on earth as he has a rocky relationship with his wife Lenka (Carey Mulligan). She was pregnant for a second time, Unfortunally her first time was a mother worst nightmare, miscarriage. What doesn’t make it better was rather than being there for her, he is more focused on his career. Despite all that, she still tries to contact her husband with no luck.

Meanwhile, Jakub is having a situation on his own. It started with him having a dream when something is crawling in Jakub’s face. It’s pretty clear that its a spider, but the effect on Sandler’s face is fake looking. That might be scary in 1979’s Alien, but in Spaceman, it looks ridiculous! And speaking of Aliens, There’s a unwelcome stowaway on the ship. And that stowaway is just a giant talking spider voiced by Paul Deno. Fortunally, Deno’s performance as a ET spider is a highlight of the story. And he is trying to be a wise man on the mountain kind of character giving advice to Jakub. What makes the spider interesting was his name. Jakub named him Hanus, after a legendary builder who constructed a astronomical clock in Prague.

Before watching the movie, you might get an idea that it’s about loneliness with emotion. However, it’s not just that. There is also something else that plays the part of the film. This movie contains something as Hunus likes to call ‘The Beginning of the Universe’ It could be literally or figuratively. Or both. Either way, it didn’t really give us a convincing message of life. And while that’s true, The begining of the Universe was really pretty to look at.

Johan Renck’s feature film may really be a little bit confusing, but as long as it has a visually dazzling climax, i think it would make an OK watch. The space odyssey is like Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar but instead of finding a new planet, Spaceman focuses more on a message with weird content.

Ordinary Angels

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Rating: Full

Genre: Faith, Drama, Family

Cast: Hilary Swank, Alan Ritchson, Nancy Travis and Tamala Jones

Director: Jon Gunn

Writers: Kelly Fremon Craig and Meg Tilly

Producers: David Beal, Jon Berg, Johnathan Dorfman, Kevin Downes, Andrew Erwin, Jon Erwin, Roy Lee and Dave Matthews

Music by: Pancho Burgos-Goizueta

Rated: PG for thematic content, brief bloody images and smoking

Release Date: 02/23/24

Runtime: 1h 58m

Tagline: N/A

Favorite Character: Sharon Stevens

Quote: “I’m good at plenty of things. Taking no for an answer ain’t one of them.”- Sharon Stevens

Fun Fact: N/A

The Review: The purpose of Faith films is to make you feel good and raise your belief in god. And with Easter around the corner, this might be a good movie to view around that weekend (if it was still there around that time).

It’s 1994 in Louisville and in a bar is Sharon Stevens, a drinking addict hairdresser with a Texan accent whose didn’t just have a alcohol problem but also has a troubled relationship with his son. The butterfly effect happened at a store where Stevens is purchasing alcohol and the moment she comes across something on the newspaper commences the whole film. A little girl named Michelle (Emily Mitchell) in need of liver transplant had lost her mother, giving Stevens a wonderful opportunity to transform from a drinker to a metaphoric angel.

One of her first steps was bargaining in the mother’s funeral uninvited. There is her now widowed husband, Ed Schmitt (Ritchson, who at first glance from the trailer, I thought it was Chris Pratt) with her two daughters, the Michelle (the sick girl) and Ashley (Skywalker Hughes) who are like Bluey and Bingo Heeler, such innocent and playful. Even if you don’t have kids, you will find it quite cute especially when Michelle loves to pretend to go on a adventure, just like the certain cartoon Hispanic explorer.

But with Michelle in need of a transplant, Ed is having a fanatical problem and is about to give up hope, but little did they know, Sharon is about to step in and become an angel that Ed would have been if he actually tried harder. putting a fundraiser at the saloon, raising $3,200 for Michelle. The bad news, however, is that it’s still not enough. Now one of the light of this darkness, is becoming an honorary Aunt to the girls.

I may not be irate by this, you probably may be but Ed doesn’t really feel all that grateful for Sharon coming in their lives. I mean, i don’t blame him for having a stranger stealing his daughters attention, but for god sakes Ed, Sharon is trying to help! Thankfully, Ed slowly grew to her (not in a romantic way) and just in time for a climax that showed us that faith should remain inside of you, even at tough situations.

While Ordinary Angels wasn’t perfect, the movie features Swank gave us an inspiring performance as a real life Ordinary Angel of Louisville. Yeah, it may be predictable, but hey, I can’t say anything about it if it’s based on a true story.