Rating: Few Burnt Kurnels

Genre: Superhero, Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

Studios: Columbia Pictures/Di Bonaventura Pictures/Marvel Entertainment

Cast: Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, Celeste O’Connor, Tahar Rahim, Mike Epps, Emma Roberts and Adam Scott

Director: S. J. Clarkson

Writers: S. J. Clarkson, Claire Parker, Kerem Sanga, Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless

Based on: the Marvel Comics

Producer: Lorenzo di Bonaventura

Music by: Johan Soderqvist

Rated: PG-13 for violence/action and language

Release Date: 02/14/24

Runtime: 1h 56m

Tagline: Her web connects them all

Favorite Character: The three girls

Quote: ‘When you take on a Responsibility, Great Power will come.”- Santiago

Fun Fact: Before the movie even came out, it was predicted that it will be the lowest grossing Sony-Spider-Man Universe movie!

The Review: In case you haven’t noticed, Sony is trying to make its own Spider-Man Cinematic Universe, but so far, there hasn’t been much progress. Especially with 2022’s Morbius that ended up being a huge misfire to the superhero genre (but for some reason, became a meme) Madame Web, sadly was kinda like that.

First scene, and the acting was already lousy and we were even demonstrated that their camera work looks like from the cheap camcorder, you know with all that unnecessary zooming in and out throughout the scenes, or maybe even the entire movie. But here, we meet Ezekiel (Tahar Rahim) and Constance Webb (Kerry Bishe), who is pregnant with a future madame web. And of course, there’s always gonna be a betrayal at some point and we are officially given a ungraceful action scenes, right before Constance gets bit by a special spider before dying giving birth.

Then we go to 2003, where we meet Cassie Webb (Dakota Johnson), a paramedic with her assistant Ben Parker (Adam Scott). Yes, that is indeed Peter Parker’s uncle. Cassie then starts seeing what some may consider glitches in reality, but we call them premonitions, a supernatural force that allows you to see what may happen shortly. Now don’t get me wrong, Dakota Johnson’s performance wasn’t all horrendous, but we might wonder if Johnson even had fun with this role. If not, than it probably feels like a chore for her. While the premonition may sound cool in general, the one in Madame Web, seems to look like a low budget version of the Final Destination movies. The Final Destination franchise has better premonition shots (except for the fourth one).

You should know, all superhero movies has a special mission. For Madame Web, it’s protecting the three girls (Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced and Celeste O’Connor) that are known for being Spider-Woman from Ezekiel who wants to kill him all because they will ruin his life, how selfish of him! Wait a minute… how many Spider-Women are there? And also, Peter Parker wasn’t even born quite yet! Wasn’t he supposed to be the first superhero based off the six legged bug? I don’t know! Not that there are any good characters in it, thankfully, these three girls are not too bad…or maybe they are.

Did I mention that this film is out of tone and has choppy editing? Also its CGI special effects for Ezekiel’s Spider-Man knock off suit is truly NOT so special. Superhero fans will probably be annoyed with a cliche which we don’t see the hero’s costume till the very end. I’m saying this because Spoiler alert…that happens. You may be surprised to hear me say Madame Web wasn’t the worst comic book movie, i mean, look at Batman and Robin! I may have failed to see how this movie was awful like the other critics say, but is it bad enough to get such a lowest rating?

Yes. Yes it absolutely did. And there actually isn’t a single thing about the movie that doesn’t need any work.